Category: Journalese, A User’s Guide

If you want to walk the walk, talk the talk.

Journalese: Collects

Sometimes Mark Zuckerberg doesn’t oblige. And if you’re a millennial who’s been asked to get a collect, right clicking to desktop just isn’t going to cut it. We’re talking about pictures. Collects are tabloid gold.  And by their definition, they are exclusive. In other words the splash. And […]

Journalese: Contacts

Favourited tweets aren’t contacts. There, we’ve said it. Time-management gurus are proud (and funnily enough, it’s actually true) that 20 per cent of the effort delivers 80 per cent of the work. Or something like that. We’re too lazy to google it. The same is true of contacts. […]

Journalese: Going viral

At some point in your career, you’re going to get a good story. Until then, there’s the internet. Before you uncover the scandal that will topple the government/the global military industrial complex/the Bilderberg group, you’ll have a chance to write something that people will actually read: a listicle. […]

Journalese: Eccies

Say what you like about made-up stories in tabloids but when it comes to creative writing at the hands of a hack, nothing – and we mean nothing- ¬†beats the the skill deployed when a journo comes to writing up their ‘ecces’. Senior hacks will tell you that […]

Journalese: Ripping

Believe it or not, dear reader, there was a time when journalists didn’t ‘repurpose’ content. It was a time when stories – or content, if you’ve hung out with marketing for more than a nanosecond – were actually produced by ringing people up, meeting humans (you know, the […]

Journalese: Bigfooting

Ah, the freedom of the open road. You’ve got the address, your subject has not yet given any interviews and thanks to an insomniac newsdesk you’re probably first on the road for The Big Story. All goes to plan: they talk, they even give you some pictures – […]

Journalese: Newslist

Let’s face it. The Bible, and much of subsequent history would be a lot more entertaining if Moses had dumped his tablets of stone and, instead, come down the mountain clutching a coffee-stained newslist. Out goes adultery, in comes Confessions of a Sexy Lovenest. The only difference between […]

Conference is told the splash isn't going to work out

Journalese: Conference

Hemingway had bull fights. Papers have conference. A fireside chat, they are not. A cross between a stag weekend in Vegas and Guernica, newspaper editorial conference has enough blood, sweat and tears to entice even the most jaded HBO executive to reach for the cheque book and screen […]

Journalese: Doorstep

Not just a place for lavender pot plants, the doorstep is the natural habitat of the reporter and their oppo in tow, the snapper. Handily, the perfumed presence of lavender plays a vital role in masking the smell of fear from the hack consigned to do the dreaded […]