The sign on the meshed door said Lee’s Tailors: Repairs Here! And behind the grimy window a small Singer sewing machine stood proud among piles of unfurled asymmetric trouser legs and cloth, reels and needles. ‘I thought we were getting a drink, Ibrahim?’ I ventured. He pointed to […]
Ears open for the very best black humour from your newsroom
The next time you’re at a crime scene next to a shopping centre, you’re going to wish you had the outline for multi-storey car park.
Ibrahim’s car smells of vinegar and he notices me wince on entry. ‘People very sick sometimes,’ he booms. ‘I clean up – a lot!’ His ivory teeth are the only thing visible from the acrid gloom at the back of the mini-cab. It’s not long before me and […]
The only good thing about The Oak is that it’s close to the office and its open. Its open at 3am because of a medieval quirk of London’s licensing by-laws. The Oak is next to Smithfield meat market and for reasons known only to the long-dead Guilds that […]
Off stone. That’s it. Done. Last edition of the paper reworked, tweaked, body count upped, pix changed, roughed, subbed, revised, finalled, gash copy spiked, splashes from rivals ripped and renosed, telly for the north replaced with telly from the south, Celtic off the back pages and normal Arsenal-Chelsea […]
You remember that lecturer that told you how newsrooms work? Yep. They were wrong Newsroom Day One ain’t pretty for the uninitiated but don’t worry, help is at hand. Over the next few days, we’ll walk you through the socialites, sociopaths and just plain normal – yep, that’s […]
Thieves are not alone in having their own Cant. Newspapers are full of them. But enough about the Deputy Editor (see Survive Your Newsroom) Before your first bollocking has even made it past those quiz-winning tiny bones in your inner ear, your brain will likely be too confused […]
In a time before reddit, there were newspapers. Quite good ones, too. Full of people. And people are great, in the main. They’re not perfect but they’ll do. And that’s what newspapers were. Not perfect, but they did what they were designed to do. Their time has largely […]
Don’t listen to the chattering classes that inhabit the airwaves and the column inches. As all true hacks know: journalism is a trade, not a profession. And if any proof were needed, spend a day in a newsroom.