Author Archives


Ears open for the very best black humour from your newsroom

The tanks  are not just on the lawn anymore

ONCE upon a time newspapers seemed unassailable: they survived the arrival of popular radio, commercial television and the proliferation of satellite TV. And despite all the odds they kept pulling in those lucrative advertising dollars year after year. They relentlessly saw off the competition and kept on partying, […]

Death by a thousand cuts, literally

IF anyone asks me these days what I do for a living, I tell them: ‘I’m a polisher and roller.’ Naturally, they’re impressed at what sounds like a skilled arts-and-crafts job. If only they knew I spent most of my working hours ‘polishing’ turds and then ‘rolling’ them […]

How not to save your firm’s reputation

Like many a miserably paid hack I’ve occasionally been tempted by the lure of better rewards in the public relations sector; to leave the ranks of the poachers and become a gamekeeper. I’ve never taken the plunge but plenty of colleagues have – and generally they’ve done pretty […]

My son’s dead body was warm, not cold

Pulp fiction writers have got it wrong. The dead are warm. They’re not stiffs, ice cold to the touch. My baby boy was floppy, he looked asleep. Three days earlier he’d been alive, and for three days my wife carried his corpse inside her. The cradle of life […]